I have been contemplating on this for awhile now and I decided that I ought not to hide it and to vent this out. I am doing this for myself because this space is my space and I need to vent if not I will go back into depression.

A while back, around the time that I entered a new relationship... I got a message.

I didnt reply him but it bugged me.

There~ I'm being honest.

Because once I saw that simple sentence, my mind just blew and I couldn't see a point in him contacting me again after I told him that there is nothing more between us.

It baffles me on how and why he could think that he should and can contact me after all this time that he was sleeping with another and granting her all that I wanted.

How should and do I go about handling this?

This seemingly simple message of "how I have been"...

Better? I was in hell because of him.

Worse? Does he really care?

By contacting me, he is affecting 2 people.

Me and his current girlfriend.
Does she know that you have been asking our close friends about me?

... That after you had her, you came looking for me and telling me how much you regret your choice?
That little irony of "Regret", I still think you lied to me about it because if you did regret... why bother sticking to her all this time?

I dont want anything to do with you.

You lost me when you walked away.

Let me be your loss.

I'm blessed in some ways and cursed in others.

Maybe it just isnt the fate in our stars this time round,

But Time has been kind.

Cebu,

Here I come.

Whale sharks,

We have yet to meet but I know that I will love you...

Time,

Please grant me some to witness my love.

Hahahaha~

I need the sand, beach and sea.

The moon looked lovely tonight...

And it looked just as lovely as the night you decided to walk away from me.

I remember looking up at the moon, and feeling like my world just crumbled away like my pitiful existence in your life...

You went on with life, with her...

Like I was nothing to you...

Like I never existed.

After you told me honestly everything that you did with her...

I feel disgusted and disappointed.

So I found it ridiculous when you saw how I was "happy" having fun with someone else and said to me: 

I didnt answer you because you didnt deserve any answer from me after everything...

But I couldnt help myself, in the end... I still replied.

I told you the truth.

He is just a friend, but is also one of the many lovely people in my life

who stood by my side and helped me to stand up again.

Making me eat,

Making me laugh,

Making me feel loved.

And you...

You said you are sorry.

You asked how...

But.. you wanted variation..

A fling to play with while you are still "young".

Then months after you "had" her..

You come asking for ways to make things up to me

and telling me: 

And when I tell what you can do to "make it up to me"

You said:

How is leaving her impossible,

 when you left me so easily?

~~~

So in conclusion,

I realised that it was my pride talking and my stupidity for asking you to leave her in the first place...

You said you love me...

That's all there is to it:

JUST EMPTY WORDS.

And I realised that...

So, we stopped talking.

~~~

It hasn't been easy.

In a way, leaving you for good is part of the unconditional love I had for you...

Even though you dont deserve it, and we ended things badly...

A part of me will always love you.

That's the part of me that I lost to you.

It has been more than a month since we last communicate...

It feels weird.

In a way, it feels like you died.

Maybe that's a better way for me to move on.

Regardless...

I thought it through...

You are human after all.

You may never be able to right the wrong or turn back time to undo every injustice acts you did to me...

But I can do something for us,

and that is to admit that you made a honest mistake,

forgive you,

let this go,

and move on with my life.

I am moving on now.

I hope you find happiness too.

After getting in and out of relationships, and going through heartbreaks... Sometimes, I honestly dont know what is real or true & how to assess love anymore.

And when I hear stories of broken relationships, it makes me wonder if love is all a game and are people just not smart enough to treasure bonds that should mean something more..

But on the other hand, you hear people saying that a relationship takes 2...

So, then... Where did it all go wrong?

Watch this video

My takeaway is that maintaining a relationship requires some "Tai Chi" skills to know when to invest and when to withdraw.

"The more time, effort or work you put towards someone; the more you are personally invested in them. And the more you like them, you want it to work out. But if you dont let them lift a finger, you are actually eliminating opportunities for them to invest in the relationship.How can you care about something, you dont have a stake in?"

So, ultimately~ As Bob Marley said...

"Everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

To all the love birds out there,
Let this post remind you to invest in your relationship and your partner.

Recently, I was having a conversation with my friend about what we look for in a relationship, how long  was our past, why and how it ended... blah blah blah~

THEN, today I chanced upon this video that raised questions like:

How do you feel about being single?

If you could wake up tomorrow and choose to be single or in a relationship,
which would you choose?

What are the qualities you look for in a partner?

What do you think other people look for in a relationship?

~~~
And you know what they found out?

Everyone wants similar things when it comes to love...
Really interesting video

Go ahead and watch it!



~~~
So the take away is...

Are you brave enough to take the risk?

NO?

Well, you see...

Like happiness, everyone wants love~
Never tried, never known~

I find myself in a really weird spot.

... And that's what happened to me, but now you say it wasn't your intention to hurt me and you know saying sorry at this point has no effect, let alone any use... so then you asked:

"But how else can I make it up to you?"

The truth is, I dont know... Should I:

• Leave the both of you alone even though I was here first and move on with my life
• Have you around at my beck and call to help me when times are tough or when I need things
• Or hang out with you and continue to be in each other lives, because we both know that our friendship meant so much more.

Argh! So much sadness and confusion...
I need someone to tell me

~~~

Anyway~ to liven the mood up...
I thought this was super funny!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!