Ever since last December, life has been a little bit more challenging... I saw the world in colours of blue, black, green and red.

“She felt worthless and hollow. There was no hope of fixing this.
And when hope is gone, time is punishment.”
― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

I have done things I am not exactly sure that I can be proud of but it was something I had and wanted to do at the moment.

“But a desperate heart will seduce the mind.” 

― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

I have been trying my best to get myself out, doing things to try to occupy my mind... but then I realised that sometimes, it's better not to try and just let time work its magic.

“Everything man does today to be efficient, to fill the hour? It does not satisfy. It only makes him hungry to do more. Man wants to own his existence. But no one owns time. When you are measuring life, you are not living it.” 

― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

I was trying to reason things... I was trying to forget... I was trying to understand why.

“I made such a fool of myself,” she lamented.

“Love does not make you a fool.”

“He didn’t love me back.”

“That does not make you a fool, either.”

“Just tell me …” Her voice cracked. “When does it stop hurting?”

“Sometimes never.” 

― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

“He cried that night for all that he had lost, but he would say it taught him a valuable lesson: that holding on to things will only break your heart.” 
― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

I was trying to manage everything on my own: Life, Love, Career... But then, unlucky us, lucky me... I found people on the same boat as me and things became a little easier.

“When we are most alone is when we embrace another's loneliness.” 

― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

In my darkest period, I found a little guidance from 2 sources... One in the form of a movie and another in the form of written words. A good watch and a good read :) In a way, these 2 helped me realise what living is for and what I should truly focus on.

“We all yearn for what we have lost. But sometimes, we forget what we have.” 

― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

In the end, if I want to know the end of my story... all I can do is to wait for that final moment, while in the mean time:

“What you have done to this point cannot be undone. What you do next... It is still unwritten.” 
― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

~~~

In my attempt to get back onto my feet, I started my 100 Happy Days challenge.
To be honest, on some days, it is a little challenging. Especially when something sets me back a step, and my mind goes to that dark place where nothing seems right.

If it wasn't for the people who really truly care for me and who would sincerely do things in their power to show their support and love, I would quite possibly still be dragging my arms along the floor.

In a way, this 100 Happy Days challenge has helped me realise to take a moment to reflect on my day and to remember what I have... to live for not only myself but for these people in my life who truly do matter to me.

2013, you brought me very interesting life experiences, taught me hard life lessons, showed me who really loves me and what really matters in my life.

2014, let's make some real changes in my journey to make my life worthwhile :)

Follow my 100 Happy Days Challenge here on my Instagram:
Jodulu

One of the most common question I get at this age is "Are you still studying?"

When I tell them no, they asked me if I'm working...

I tell them I am... but deep down, I wonder if I am.

You see, my job is kind of unique.

I get paid well if I work hard and only if it is the season.

I work as an environmental educator, which is a very impressive and fancy term to sum up what I do:

I go to schools, conducting talks to students on environmental issues...

which is honestly, something that isn't properly covered in Singapore at this moment.

We have been taught to care about grades, about being first... about the economy.

Not about the world that we live in that depends greatly on us at this stage of its degradation.

How I got into doing this was really a rare opportunity.

And I found out after my first session that I really love doing it.

Anyone who has talked to me about my job and really listened to me, can tell that it frustrates me that we are not caring enough about what really is important...

WE DEPEND ON THIS ENVIRONMENT TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE!

It took me a while to get my parents to warm up to the idea of my job and I can never seem to explain to my grandparents what I really do, because... well... they grew up in a society that relies on exploiting the environment... plus, I am bad at dialects.

~~~

Which brings me to the topic of finding your passion.

Some, although very very very rare, find their passion in life early...

Like my brother, he found his passion in flying and has devoted his life to being a pilot one day.

Some, take forever to find their passion...

Some, requires an opportunity to find their passion.

Like me.

'Never have so many people felt so unfulfilled in their career roles, and been so unsure what to do about it.'

 Even though my parents recognised my passion, there is always the topic of money... income.

To be honest, despite my shiny crown and awesome job title,
my income is very little compared to the time when I worked full time being a robot that people stab frequently.

"It's the adult world", that's what people working in corporations tells me...

Well, it's stupid and seriously, it affects efficiency. Plus, it's childish.

"Infants in the so called adult world", that's what I tell people.

So, yes...

While it's nice to earn lots of money to buy happiness...

I can tell you that it brings me true happiness to do something that feeds my passion.

I learnt that I should just do what I want.

I may die any moment, no one truly knows when.

I rather die doing than wondering "if I had just done that..."

That being said, truly successful people get successful in life only because they work hard driving their passion.

That was my take away after listening to Sir Richard Branson...

I can tell you now that after getting my heart broken again recently...

I realised that at my age, I should use my youth to work hard.

I was never the party kind of girl.

I was never the one-night-stand girl.

I am the wife material woman that my parents brought me up as.

And at 23, with a degree (that I didnt use) at 20, I should make use of my full potential to live life the way I want to strive, not for love from a man but a love doing what my passion drives me.

So, a new year, the year of my year...

Look forward to a new me.

And as I end this post...

Let me ask you this:

What is your passion?